As the first blow finally hits you in the gut, the pain slowly rises to the surface. Crawling upon and grabbing at your skin.
You feel it, rising up, flooding and boiling in your veins. It’s hot. You don’t understand, no one ever explains.
Slowly and painfully, sneaking its way up through your chest, you can’t bare the feeling anymore.
Everything that you ever thought you were, everything you ever believed in, is no longer.
Eventually the pain reaches your heart. Stabbing, prodding, pounding and aching.
You find yourself unable to breath, unable to process anything at all. It’s all too unbearable. Your legs weaken; turning to liquid and you fall to the ground.
Everything else finally comes crashing down with you, hitting the ground hard.
Suddenly, the action that can no longer be ignored and the one that has been put off for the longest arises; filling your eyes and falling down your delicate cheeks onto your mouth so you can taste the saltiness of the tears. The tears that mean so much but mean so little.
Gently laying your body flat against the cold concrete floor, you close your eyes wishing for it all to end.
Wishing and hoping that tomorrow it’ll all go away. Praying with everything you have that you won’t survive another day.
The pain is all too familiar and way too much for you to handle. Laying there, mind working on over drive, thoughts of nothing and everything flying around at once, your whole body is numb, eventually you fall asleep hoping, wishing and praying this is the last time you’ll ever feel this way, but way down deep in your soul you know that it isn’t because this is the fifth time this week that this horrible, uncontrollable feeling has taken hold of you and brought you down.
hayleynewman
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