Thursday, August 26, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
sometimes i feel like i give alot more to people then they are willing to give to me.
i tend to give all that i have to give
im always there for people when they need a shoulder to cry on, i forget what is happening to me for those moments that they need me, everything is about them.
when its my turn to need a shoulder, there is a shoulder there but there isn't the ears i need, the moment isn't entirely mine, its theirs as well because they make it like that. its been like that my entire life, all my friendships have been like that.
i give everything that i can for them, always have and will most likely always will.
i tend to give all that i have to give
im always there for people when they need a shoulder to cry on, i forget what is happening to me for those moments that they need me, everything is about them.
when its my turn to need a shoulder, there is a shoulder there but there isn't the ears i need, the moment isn't entirely mine, its theirs as well because they make it like that. its been like that my entire life, all my friendships have been like that.
i give everything that i can for them, always have and will most likely always will.
Monday, August 23, 2010
those hours, the ones we spent together, i felt safe, i felt like nothing could ever hurt me, i felt like me. i had no worries in the world. I had you and you had me. The moments when we lay together in my bed under the cover of darkness and spoke, they made me feel safe, they made me feel special. Those moments whenever we connected, nothing could ever go wrong because i was with you.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Woah, reading those old pieces of writing brings back some memories.
The feeling of Nostalgia overcame me, making me wish for things from my very distant past and the not too distant past.
Also i noticed how my writing has changed and the way i put my thoughts across have changed.
writing is my escape from what is happening to and around me, it calms me.
Its an escape mechanism, one of my escape mechanisms.
The feeling of Nostalgia overcame me, making me wish for things from my very distant past and the not too distant past.
Also i noticed how my writing has changed and the way i put my thoughts across have changed.
writing is my escape from what is happening to and around me, it calms me.
Its an escape mechanism, one of my escape mechanisms.
Just Maybe
Maybe I’m the one who was at fault,
Maybe I shouldn’t have run.
Maybe it’s the way its meant to be,
Maybe there is no you and me.
Just let it go,
Just let it be.
Just carry on as normal,
Just pretend there was never you and me
Maybe I should go,
Maybe I should stay.
Maybe there’s another life,
Maybe were meant to be.
Just let it go,
Just let it be.
Just carry on as normal,
Just pretend there was never you and me.
Maybe I’m gonna survive,
Maybe I’ll find a new love.
Maybe it’s better this way,
Maybe we should just be friends.
Just let it go,
Just let it be.
Just carry on as normal,
Just pretend there was never you and me
2006
Maybe I’m the one who was at fault,
Maybe I shouldn’t have run.
Maybe it’s the way its meant to be,
Maybe there is no you and me.
Just let it go,
Just let it be.
Just carry on as normal,
Just pretend there was never you and me
Maybe I should go,
Maybe I should stay.
Maybe there’s another life,
Maybe were meant to be.
Just let it go,
Just let it be.
Just carry on as normal,
Just pretend there was never you and me.
Maybe I’m gonna survive,
Maybe I’ll find a new love.
Maybe it’s better this way,
Maybe we should just be friends.
Just let it go,
Just let it be.
Just carry on as normal,
Just pretend there was never you and me
2006
Amazing
It’s amazing how,
We can get so caught up in our lives.
That we don’t even realise that everyday,
Somewhere around the world someone dies.
It’s amazing how we can say,
‘I'm sorry’ and not even mean it.
There’s not use in saying sorry,
If you don’t mean it.
It’s amazing how someone can,
Have everything they want.
But can’t be bother to help someone in need.
It’s amazing how much one simple smile,
Goes a long long way.
Or how one Hello,
Means so much to a person.
Maybe just that one smile,
Or on hello, will save someone’s life
2007
It’s amazing how,
We can get so caught up in our lives.
That we don’t even realise that everyday,
Somewhere around the world someone dies.
It’s amazing how we can say,
‘I'm sorry’ and not even mean it.
There’s not use in saying sorry,
If you don’t mean it.
It’s amazing how someone can,
Have everything they want.
But can’t be bother to help someone in need.
It’s amazing how much one simple smile,
Goes a long long way.
Or how one Hello,
Means so much to a person.
Maybe just that one smile,
Or on hello, will save someone’s life
2007
Focusing on reality
This peice of writing was one of the first things i wrote way back in 2006.
Girl's P.O.V
I turn my head, I focus into reality, and he’s staring at me. His eyes glistening in the light. I feel as though nothings happen, no wrong turns, only right.
For only a moment he’s mine again, floating back into my dreams, were together. So careless, so free. Then I remember the fight, those hurtful words that were said that night.
He said he was sorry more than a million times. I didn’t listen, thinking of myself again. What I did was wrong. Let him down, I let him go, I hurt him. Many times. He was there to rescue me, in times of trouble, after all that I had done. I let him go again. Stupid me.
Now I realise that he’s the one, the one I want, the one I need. He probably doesn't care anymore; he’s given me all his love; when I didn't appreciate it. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Our life together was short lived because of me. They tell me over again ' Your meant to be together, Forever' Yeah right, not now after everything. Just let it be. Time will heal things, and then I'll stuff up again. But he’s the one, the one I want, the one I need. He said those three words, I didn’t say them back, is it too late to say ' I love you'? He's the One, The one I want, and the one I need.
GUYS P.O.V
I look at her, She's staring at me, and Her Blue eyes are shinning like at star on a perfect summer's night. Everyone is laughing around us. She smiles with pain in her eyes. It hurts me to know I put it there, I wish we were together again, only if its for a moment, or, one hour, or, even just one day. So I could say i’m sorry for everything that I have done, sorry for the jealousy, sorry for the yelling, sorry for the anger and sorry for not believing that she could do her job.
We got so far, and then I all came Falling down like rain,
We've been through so much together, Pain, Laughter, Trouble, and Happiness. I only wish for one moment, or, one hour, or, even just for one day. I took her for granted; everything seemed so perfect when we were together. The roses remind me of her, The sweet smell and the Beautiful colours, She smiles at me, Noticing i’m looking at her. I smile back she's so Beautiful. If only we had one Moment, or, one hour, or, even just one more day together again.
Girl's P.O.V
I turn my head, I focus into reality, and he’s staring at me. His eyes glistening in the light. I feel as though nothings happen, no wrong turns, only right.
For only a moment he’s mine again, floating back into my dreams, were together. So careless, so free. Then I remember the fight, those hurtful words that were said that night.
He said he was sorry more than a million times. I didn’t listen, thinking of myself again. What I did was wrong. Let him down, I let him go, I hurt him. Many times. He was there to rescue me, in times of trouble, after all that I had done. I let him go again. Stupid me.
Now I realise that he’s the one, the one I want, the one I need. He probably doesn't care anymore; he’s given me all his love; when I didn't appreciate it. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Our life together was short lived because of me. They tell me over again ' Your meant to be together, Forever' Yeah right, not now after everything. Just let it be. Time will heal things, and then I'll stuff up again. But he’s the one, the one I want, the one I need. He said those three words, I didn’t say them back, is it too late to say ' I love you'? He's the One, The one I want, and the one I need.
GUYS P.O.V
I look at her, She's staring at me, and Her Blue eyes are shinning like at star on a perfect summer's night. Everyone is laughing around us. She smiles with pain in her eyes. It hurts me to know I put it there, I wish we were together again, only if its for a moment, or, one hour, or, even just one day. So I could say i’m sorry for everything that I have done, sorry for the jealousy, sorry for the yelling, sorry for the anger and sorry for not believing that she could do her job.
We got so far, and then I all came Falling down like rain,
We've been through so much together, Pain, Laughter, Trouble, and Happiness. I only wish for one moment, or, one hour, or, even just for one day. I took her for granted; everything seemed so perfect when we were together. The roses remind me of her, The sweet smell and the Beautiful colours, She smiles at me, Noticing i’m looking at her. I smile back she's so Beautiful. If only we had one Moment, or, one hour, or, even just one more day together again.
Hanging Heart.
As the blood drips,
From this heart.
A tear drips from my eye,
They crash together on the concrete.
The clear tear turns red,
Staining the surface of the earth.
The heart so broken,
So fragile & lonely.
No one knows why its broken,
No one knows where it belongs.
So many places,
So many people.
So many hearts,
That have been broken.
But not as harsh as this one,
This is the heart of a young girl.
One that now knows no pain,
One that will never love again.
The blood drips,
The tear falls.
2.11.2007
As the blood drips,
From this heart.
A tear drips from my eye,
They crash together on the concrete.
The clear tear turns red,
Staining the surface of the earth.
The heart so broken,
So fragile & lonely.
No one knows why its broken,
No one knows where it belongs.
So many places,
So many people.
So many hearts,
That have been broken.
But not as harsh as this one,
This is the heart of a young girl.
One that now knows no pain,
One that will never love again.
The blood drips,
The tear falls.
2.11.2007
Chance for tomorrow
Please give her a chance for tomorrow,
So she can see what its like.
For someone to love her,
For someone to hold her tight.
In the arms of her guardian angel,
Please give her another chance.
Another day to survive this fate,
Another chance at life.
A chance to dance,
A chance to fight.
The re-occurring dream,
Of what her future may be like.
So please answer the prayers,
Give her another chance.
To dance, to love, to be held tight,
Also another chance for tomorrow.
29.10.2007
Please give her a chance for tomorrow,
So she can see what its like.
For someone to love her,
For someone to hold her tight.
In the arms of her guardian angel,
Please give her another chance.
Another day to survive this fate,
Another chance at life.
A chance to dance,
A chance to fight.
The re-occurring dream,
Of what her future may be like.
So please answer the prayers,
Give her another chance.
To dance, to love, to be held tight,
Also another chance for tomorrow.
29.10.2007
a life of today
This is her life,
Full of hate & hurt.
She knows nothing different,
Her past is a vivid memory.
She’s sixteen and homeless,
Drugs and Alcohol are her friends.
Dirty streets, newspaper sheets.
Restless sleep & nothing to eat.
This is her home,
Full of terrorism and nothing else.
It’s so unfair,
Nowhere to go, no on e to love.
Her future is uncertain,
It’s an undirected path.
Her mother died of drugs,
Her father died of love.
This is her life,
Uncertain, undirected.
Full of terrorism and nothing else,
It’s so unfair
29.10.2007
For Nan
After all these years,
It’s now time to say our farewells,
But you’re never going to be gone,
You’ll still live in our hearts.
It may seem like your life is ending,
But its just time for you to move
Onto the next chapter of your life.
The next chapter will be,
The best one of all, you will be peaceful and calm,
Sadly we are unable to be there with you,
But we will meet you there one day.
Until that day you will live on in our hearts,
This isn’t goodbye, its just see you later.
And just remember, Nan, that we love you.
It’s now time to say our farewells,
But you’re never going to be gone,
You’ll still live in our hearts.
It may seem like your life is ending,
But its just time for you to move
Onto the next chapter of your life.
The next chapter will be,
The best one of all, you will be peaceful and calm,
Sadly we are unable to be there with you,
But we will meet you there one day.
Until that day you will live on in our hearts,
This isn’t goodbye, its just see you later.
And just remember, Nan, that we love you.
Too close
You got too close. Too close to her. You were scared. Your heart pounded so fast when she was around. You felt like it was going to jump out of your chest.
You got too close. Too close to her. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from her snow-white skin, her soft blonde hair and her perfectly shaped lips.
You got too close. Too close to her. You didn’t know why you felt this way. All you knew was that this was different. This perfect woman, she was different.
You got too close. Too close to her. You didn’t know if you liked what you were doing. You weren’t sure if it would last. So you did what you do best. You broke her heart.
You left. No goodbye. No sorry. Nothing. You broke her heart. You got too close. Too close to her. You left.
You idiot.
You got too close. Too close to her. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from her snow-white skin, her soft blonde hair and her perfectly shaped lips.
You got too close. Too close to her. You didn’t know why you felt this way. All you knew was that this was different. This perfect woman, she was different.
You got too close. Too close to her. You didn’t know if you liked what you were doing. You weren’t sure if it would last. So you did what you do best. You broke her heart.
You left. No goodbye. No sorry. Nothing. You broke her heart. You got too close. Too close to her. You left.
You idiot.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
it's three o'clock in the morning, she lay in bed still awake.
Her mind ticking over and over again. Her heart beating in her chest.
it's three o'clock in the morning, she lay in bed still awake.
unable to sleep, unable to move on.
it's three o'clock in the morning, she lay in bed still awake.
Her mind goes crazy, her heart beats faster and she lets out a sigh.
it's three o'clock in the morning, she lay in bed still awake.
thoughts, breaths, heart beats, tears.
it's three o'clock in the morning & she lay in bed still awake.
Her mind ticking over and over again. Her heart beating in her chest.
it's three o'clock in the morning, she lay in bed still awake.
unable to sleep, unable to move on.
it's three o'clock in the morning, she lay in bed still awake.
Her mind goes crazy, her heart beats faster and she lets out a sigh.
it's three o'clock in the morning, she lay in bed still awake.
thoughts, breaths, heart beats, tears.
it's three o'clock in the morning & she lay in bed still awake.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Heart beats. Deep breaths. Tears stream.
Your mind goes around and around all the time.
Your world spins around and around.
Heart beats. Deep Breaths. Tears stream.
Everyday it’s the same.
You try and hold it in.
Heart beats. Deep Breaths. Tears stream.
You hold in it until you’re alone.
Once the door is shut and the curtain is closed everything just flows.
Heart beats. Deep breaths. Tears stream.
No one around you seems to understand.
They just pretend like there’s nothing wrong.
Heart beats. Deep breaths. Tears stream.
You cry you eyes out.
You cry loudly, you cry softly.
Heart beats. Deep breaths. Tears stream.
Wipe your eyes, wash your face.
Your soul has been cried out.
Heart beats. Deep breaths. Tears stream.
Slowly you get up, reach for the door and turn the handle.
As you step out you put on your most convincing smile.
Heart Beats. Deep Breaths. Tears Stream.
Your mind goes around and around all the time.
Your world spins around and around.
Heart beats. Deep Breaths. Tears stream.
Everyday it’s the same.
You try and hold it in.
Heart beats. Deep Breaths. Tears stream.
You hold in it until you’re alone.
Once the door is shut and the curtain is closed everything just flows.
Heart beats. Deep breaths. Tears stream.
No one around you seems to understand.
They just pretend like there’s nothing wrong.
Heart beats. Deep breaths. Tears stream.
You cry you eyes out.
You cry loudly, you cry softly.
Heart beats. Deep breaths. Tears stream.
Wipe your eyes, wash your face.
Your soul has been cried out.
Heart beats. Deep breaths. Tears stream.
Slowly you get up, reach for the door and turn the handle.
As you step out you put on your most convincing smile.
Heart Beats. Deep Breaths. Tears Stream.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
& all you want to do i break down and cry,
so slowly you get up and walk away.
When you reach your destination, you close the door, close the curtain, turn off the light and cry.
You cry loudly, you cry softly, the tears just fall, slowly they make there way down your cheeks, onto your lips, down your chin, down you neck and get absorbed in you shirt.
You didn't cry yesterday and you thought you would be okay today, but you spoke to quick.
once you finish crying, you will wipe you face, put on a smile, lie to yourself, open the door and pretend that everything is okay.
so slowly you get up and walk away.
When you reach your destination, you close the door, close the curtain, turn off the light and cry.
You cry loudly, you cry softly, the tears just fall, slowly they make there way down your cheeks, onto your lips, down your chin, down you neck and get absorbed in you shirt.
You didn't cry yesterday and you thought you would be okay today, but you spoke to quick.
once you finish crying, you will wipe you face, put on a smile, lie to yourself, open the door and pretend that everything is okay.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
My mind goes over and over and over.
I can't stop thinking, and need to stop.
It's just hurting me even more and i don't think i can deal with it.
But what if, everything im saying is just to keep my mind at ease.
What if, it wasn't true, what if i made it all up?
I'm so scared that he will move on quicker than i expect.
what will happen then? i guess i will have to deal with it.
I know i have to stop, i have to let go, but right now, i can't.
Not letting go is probably the thing that is going to make it worse.
i can't let go, not just yet, because truthfully, im in love with him.
I can't stop thinking, and need to stop.
It's just hurting me even more and i don't think i can deal with it.
But what if, everything im saying is just to keep my mind at ease.
What if, it wasn't true, what if i made it all up?
I'm so scared that he will move on quicker than i expect.
what will happen then? i guess i will have to deal with it.
I know i have to stop, i have to let go, but right now, i can't.
Not letting go is probably the thing that is going to make it worse.
i can't let go, not just yet, because truthfully, im in love with him.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
his heart. your heart
His heart. Your Heart.
Both fragile both hurt.
These days everything hurts, nothing ever makes it better. Nothing anyone except that one person does can help you.
But they can’t do anything because they are hurting too, you both are.
It’s killing you inside and its killing him.
If you give it time it should get better and even though you know you shouldn’t doubt that, you do.
You believe everything he says to you because he makes everything alright.
You have so much to say but you don’t know how to.
You just want this to be over, want it all to be good again.
His Heart. Your Heart.
Both fragile. Both hurt.
Your mind goes around and around constantly, trying to figure out what to say, trying to figure out what the right thing to do is.
Take it one step at a time. One breath at a time.
Take extra care of what you say, think about it before you speak for what you say could have a really bad outcome and just hurt much more than you intended to.
You tread slowly and quietly maybe then that will make it all good.
His Heart. Your Heart.
Both fragile. Both Hurt.
Both fragile both hurt.
These days everything hurts, nothing ever makes it better. Nothing anyone except that one person does can help you.
But they can’t do anything because they are hurting too, you both are.
It’s killing you inside and its killing him.
If you give it time it should get better and even though you know you shouldn’t doubt that, you do.
You believe everything he says to you because he makes everything alright.
You have so much to say but you don’t know how to.
You just want this to be over, want it all to be good again.
His Heart. Your Heart.
Both fragile. Both hurt.
Your mind goes around and around constantly, trying to figure out what to say, trying to figure out what the right thing to do is.
Take it one step at a time. One breath at a time.
Take extra care of what you say, think about it before you speak for what you say could have a really bad outcome and just hurt much more than you intended to.
You tread slowly and quietly maybe then that will make it all good.
His Heart. Your Heart.
Both fragile. Both Hurt.
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